Tessa's Decision

Tessa was baptized last Friday... on the 26th. Just before sunset we went down to a private beach on Oahu and she walked into the ocean with her daddy. Our friends Kevin & Chase Cottle were the witnesses. Chris read us some scriptures and gave a small talk. It was such a wonderful experience for all of us! A lot of the pics look like it was totally dark, but really we had plenty of light and it was absolutely beautiful! To keep in form with Hawaiian custom, when Tessa came out of the water, we put leis around her neck and kissed her precious face. Congratulations, our Tessa - we love you so much!

These pictures are the ones we had taken on Tessa's birthday:







P.S. More of our Hawaii pics will be coming soon!

Eight is GREAT!

Our baby girl turns 8 today!

Some things to know about our Tessa Anne:

Favorite color: blue, because she thinks she's outgrown pink

Food: pizza, chinese, or anything with sugar

Holiday: Christmas, "because it's so fun to watch everyone else open their presents"

Book: I Love You Forever

Toys: Webkinz or her babies

Things to do: anything as a family, doing art and making things for people, playing with her friends

Nicknames: Tessie, Annie, Penelope, Lambie, Baby Girl, Princess, Munchkin Mouse

Her real name: Tessa Anne - 'Tessa' means 'fourth born' and Anne is after her GranDebbie, my mom

Her strengths: reading, writing, drawing, and especially loving

Dislikes: if it's possible to dislike it as much as her mother does... being the center of attention - we both hate it

Likes: Being the baby of the family - she reminded me last night before she said prayer that it would be my last time to hear my seven year old say it, and that I should make sure to tuck her in, because it would be the last time I got to tuck in my seven year old. Ouch, those tugs on my tender heart strings!

The following is because I'm such a sentimental sucker on my kids' birthdays... you really don't have to read it. But I've got to write it.

Eight years ago, I was at the hospital again after having been there twice already that week to get my labor stopped. The most important thing to me was that my baby was ready to meet this world. That she was fully developed and healthy. But I couldn't help hoping they would keep me (us!) there this time. We still had 17 days until her due-date of the 26th. And yet, her personality shone even then... she'd get here when she wanted to, and she wasn't going to wait around for anyone to tell her when that would be.

Although I'd had Katy and Trevor completely natural with no pain meds... (was I crazy!?!?)... I think there hadn't been enough time between Trev and Tessa for my mind and/or body to complete the time warp that makes us forget that pain and decide to do it again. As soon as they said I was staying, I asked for the epidural. Besides, it was already a late night to a long day, and we were just getting started... I think it was about midnight when I was admitted. 

I'd had a horrible epidural with Chris (a whole other story, but just so you know, it was bad enough that I had those next 2 without one. 'nuf said.) and so I was fearful of having another one. But more fearful of that pain again. Boy, is there a big difference between a 'bad' epidural and a truly WONDERFUL one! I was watching that machine with it's peaks going almost completely to the top of the screen with my huge contractions, and saying, "wow, I hardly felt a thing!"

So Mike pulled up one of those rock-hard reclining chairs that for some reason look as inviting as a feather mattress in the middle of the night... and we both slept... for a little while, at least.

I woke up because I heard a huge GASP from the nurse standing by my bed. I sat straight up... Mike jumped up out of his chair... every hair on my body stood on end. From the look on the nurse's face, we knew something was wrong. After her initial shock, she calmly turned to Mike and said, "go get the midwife... this baby's head is already out." 

So Mike runs (no, he did not walk... he didn't even jog... he full-on RAN) into the hall, in the very early hours of an otherwise quiet morning, and yells at the top of his lungs, "GET IN HERE NOW! THIS BABY'S HEAD IS OUT!"

The midwife chases him back into the room, pulling gloves on as she's running, staring wide-eyed at my 'place', and says, "okay, Tricia, I want you to take in a big, deep breath and give me one good push." So I huff, and I puff... okay, just kidding.... I actually started to inhale deeply and before I even let out a hint of air, she lays my new baby girl on my stomach and says, "here she is!"... wait, was I supposed to push?

And in true Tessa style... coming when she was ready, no waiting around, taking no guff from anyone, in total 'I can do it by myself' fashion... one huge spirit in that teeny tiny body (only 6 lbs 3.7 oz)... my life would never be the same. It had never been so wonderful.

I don't think I'll ever forget how blue she was from not being able to breathe. Or the fear that engulfed me when they pulled her off my stomach as quickly as she appeared there, to get her under the oxygen tube... watching all of them hover over her, rubbing her and gently telling her (begging her!) to breathe. My world stood still. 

My world stands still again today as I look at this miracle I've been blessed with. Today is our day. I've taken the day off work, and she off school... we're off to play! An entire day of snuggling, hair-doing, lunching, shopping, picture-taking, and if we can fit it in, ice-skating! 

She grabbed my hand super tight last night and told me, "I'm so excited for tomorrow... it's going to be the best day EVER!"

No, baby girl... that was the day you were born.

Caution: This Post Contains Spoilers

Santa Clause spoilers, that is...

We have been discussing with our kids that their Christmas presents will be smaller this year, and not as many of them. The reason is because the biggest gift, for all of us, is our trip this winter to HERE. We've been planning it for months, and finally surprised the kids with the news a few weeks ago. It was such a fun surprise, because as Tessa was running around the room hugging and kissing everyone, I realized that Trevor hadn't said anything yet. When I looked over at him, he was still just sitting there... frozen... with his big brown eyes as big as quarters and his mouth forming a perfect 'O'... it was prime!

Anyway, on to the spoiler part. Mike and I had already decided that we would tell Trevor 'the truth' this year. He started asking questions last year, but we just couldn't bear to tell. So we figured that if it came up this year, we'd be totally honest. It just so happened that we were in the car a couple of weeks ago - just Mike, Trevor and me. When out of the blue Trevor says, "some of my friends say that santa is your parents."
One quick glance between Mike and I, and we both knew this was the moment. My reply, "and what do you think about that, Trev?"
"Oh, I told them that they were wrong." At this point he stared intently at my face, obviously trying to read my thoughts.
And out it came, "Well, it's true". I just watched him as he processed this information.... that same frozen, eyes wide and round mouth look.
"It is?"
"Yes."
Silence. 

Quick 'what did we just do?' look at Mike.
More silence.
I don't know what I was expecting, but not the next question.
"What about the Easter bunny?"
"Us."
"The tooth fairy?"
"Us."
"You owe me money."
Mike and I couldn't stop laughing, because apparently Trevor still has a long, lost tooth somewhere in his room. See, this is another reason we just had to get the secret out... I stink at being the tooth fairy. Seriously, I've thought many a time that my kids will grow up warped because the tooth fairy either never paid up or was always so busy that it took her a week or two to get around to them. Then I'd justify it by telling myself that I was just teaching them patience. Sure.

Anyway, back to the story. After all of Trevor's questions, we laid down the law - the same law that had been laid down to Christopher and Katy years ago. There's only one rule. NO TELLING. No telling Tessa, no telling the neighbors, no telling your cousins, no telling your friends at school. If they bring it up, and they already know, you can talk to them about it. But you don't bring it up. You can talk to dad, me, Chris or Katy anytime you want, as long as Tessa isn't around. And the reward for not telling? Elf status. You get to be a helper. My kids have always LOVED being helpers. It takes away a little sting of 'the truth'. And call me corny, but Tessa is my baby, and she's been able to do 'baby' things for longer than the other kids... got her bottle longer, stayed in diapers longer, and she didn't even walk until she was almost two (which although she was in physical therapy for this, I still think it was in great deal because everyone else brought everything to her - she had no need to get up and walk). So I figured we could play along together and stretch her belief in Santa for at least a couple more years.

Fast forward one week. Tessa comes into the living room and announces to Mike and I that she wants a hot tub (of all things!) for Christmas. Mike says, "That's not happening."
"Why?"
"Because a hot tub is too expensive."
"Well, you're not buying it anyway. Santa's making it."
"Still not happening."
"WHY?!?"
"Because it's too expensive."
At this point she puts her hands on her hips, and screams, "WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME?"
Mike and I exchange looks, his says 'what did I say?' and mine says, 'SHUT UP!', if you can say that with your eyes. Then we both just look back at her, at a complete loss for words, staring blankly at her angry and questioning face.
"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU ARE SANTA CLAUSE?"
Mike looks at me, as if the question wasn't directed at him. So I say, as calmly as I can muster, "Have you been talking to Trevor?"
"No."
"Have you been talking to your friends?"
"No." 

I think it was at this point that her anger turned to confusion, and her voice rose again, "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"
I honestly didn't know what to say. My mind was reeling. This was not happening. Not yet. And I am the worst liar in the entire world. So I did it.
"It's true."
At this point, she threw herself onto the couch, and just sobbed. My own tears were stinging my eyes as I leaned over and cradled her. No words were said for several minutes, as her precious little mind wrapped itself around this information. Then she slowly lifted her head and looked up at us, "So you bought my ipod last year?" (I know what you're thinking, but it was the only thing she asked for - and I got the one Mike won at his work Christmas party, so we just gave her my old one.)
"Yes."

"But that was expensive."

"Yes."

And softly, "thank you." That melted my heart, that she would think to thank us after having her heart broken.

The rest of the evening was filled with questions, each spaced 5-10 minutes apart, her heart and mind still taking all of it in. Mostly the same ones Trevor had asked, with a few of her own. And about an hour afterwards, one of them came that made me laugh. 

"What about last year when Katy and me were sprinkling the reindeer dust in the yard, and we heard santa say, 'ho, ho, ho' and there were jingle bells?" (This was one we didn't plan, but the timing worked out great and got them in bed super fast.)

So I answered her, "That was just some neighbor outside tricking their own kids, and you just happened to hear it."

By the end of the night, she was smiling at the whole thing and was excited to be in on 'the truth'. And then we laid down the law. Except this was the only time I was able to say, "you can talk to ANYONE in our family, whenever you want".

A few days later, while in the car, she says to me, "mom, really santa does exist.... because we can all be santa, even me.... he's the spirit of giving."

Ahhhh, she had been listening. My heart almost couldn't fit into my chest.

But my moment was short-lived as she laughed and said, "oh yeah, he exists alright... he's at home putting the Christmas lights up on our house!" Then we both gave in to a fit of giggles.

Learning to Teach...

It has come front and center to my mind lately that I need to do more in teaching my children some of the basic truths of the gospel. It's been humbling, but I promise to do better. A couple of my reality checks:

1. I intercepted a tithing envelope from Tessa a couple of weeks ago.... and quickly scribbled over the note she had written on the back of it: "Dear bishop, heres som mony for you. I hope you can bye sumthing you want."

We had our Family Home Evening lesson tonight on tithing.

2. I overheard Trevor explaining to Tessa what missionaries are: "They're these guys that just go to RANDOM COUNTRIES and teach about the gospel."

Our lesson next week is missionary work.  

Passing Notes

Normally it's against the rules in church. They're allowed to draw, etc, but not pass anything around; simply because it causes a lot of moving around and disrupts not only the passer, but also the receiver and anyone in between. For some reason, today Tessa got away with it. I know, I know... I need to work on my consistency, but ahhhh, whatever.

The background on this one is this: right at the beginning of church, Mike and I had to leave for a few minutes. Katy was left with the daunting task of kid keeper. Gathering from the story I got after church? Brats. Both of them. To the point that, "Mom, the whole bishopric was looking at us!" And then, "IT'S NOT FUNNY, MOM!" I just really thought the note was cute. Katy wasn't buying into it. Here it is:

This one was so cute, but then when I heard Katy's story, I knew it could have been a buttering-up for us. I don't even care. I'll take all the praise I can get.

This one just made me laugh:

I don't even know what she was thinking on this one, but it made me want one:

I really have no idea why I'm including this one, because it really makes you wonder what's going on in our family. But it made me laugh... and gag at the same time. 

Note: 'boor' is 'door', and so on...

Our Beautiful Freckle Face

Tessa's first soccer game was last week and I was sad that she had her first 'trash talk' experience. I couldn't believe it was starting already! I was running late getting to the game because I had to pick up/drop off other kids to their activities. When I finally did get there, I found Tessa on the sideline looking sullen. As soon as she saw me, she got up, ran into my arms and broke into tears. When I finally got her comforted enough to tell me what happened, she told me that one of the girls on the other team had called her 'freckle face'...

Trevor: Which one? Tessa, show me which one!
Me: No, Trevor, you don't need to know which one. (I could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears)
Trevor: Yes, I do! Tessa, which one was it?
Me: Tessa, don't tell him which one. (at which point she simply pointed - fine, no telling needed).
Trevor: Her? Oh, you should have called her...
Me: No, you shouldn't call her anything!
Trevor then proceeded to pull her away from me and whisper into her ear. Sheesh, okay, I gave up fighting that one. Whatever he said, I didn't hear, but I can certainly imagine. Tessa giggled.

She still refused to go back into the game, which gave me a turn to whisper into her ear, "That little girl paid you a compliment! I love your freckles... every single one of them. They are a part of who you are... no one else in the world has freckles placed as perfectly on their face as you do. They make you unique and precious... I've never seen a more beautiful face!"

She calmed down considerably, but refused to play the rest of the game.

When I told her how proud I was of her going out after the game and giving high fives to the other team, even though I knew she didn't want to, she quickly retorted, "Oh, I didn't touch that girl!"

Oh well, one learning experience at a time... I just really hope she'll play soccer again, and if anyone ever calls her 'freckle face'? I hope she smiles and says thank you... and Trevor hopes she kicks 'em in the shinguards.

My Heart Melted...

My heart completely melted yesterday during sacrament meeting in church, when we were singing. Mike nudged me and pointed to Trevor, my 9-year-old. I couldn't hold back the tears when I watched him, with the hymn book just inches from him face and singing loud and strong, with full purpose of heart, 'I Believe in Christ', as though the words he was singing were piercing his little heart and melting into his whole being!
When the song was over, I looked over at Tessa, my 7-year-old, and she was drawing, and again I teared up at what she had just written... 'I am a child of God.'
How wonderful it is to know that my children are growing in the gospel of Jesus Christ and know that they are children of God... and that they do believe in Jesus Christ... we are so blessed!