Sweet 16

Happy, happy birthday to my 16 year old... I can't believe you're that old already!

I have so many memories of you, and will never forget the day that you were born.

Although you were nearly two weeks early, I have a confession to make: I took castor oil to see if it would start my labor because I just couldn't wait to see you... and the doctor told me that I was to the point that if my labor started, they wouldn't stop it, since you were so healthy and strong. The castor oil worked. It made me so icky sick at first though. Your dad went to bed because he had to get up so early, but I stayed up and started timing the contractions. They were so far apart at first that I figured it was false labor. By five in the morning, they were very regular at ten minutes apart and getting stronger. 

I figured I should wake your dad up. We decided to go ahead and get to the hospital. We got there probably around six (I'm going from memory here) and by then the contractions were about 5 minutes apart and really hurting. I didn't want an epidural, but I didn't know what I was in for. The pain got so bad that I begged for the epidural. When the anesthesiologist put the needle in my back, he hit a nerve. I was laying on my left side and my left leg started kicking and freaking out, completely out of my control, which really scared me. So he backed the needle out and put it back in, which started to take away my pain within just a couple of minutes. But even today I can feel where he put the needle and sometimes I still get sharp pains there. When the doctor checked me before leaving the room, I was dilated to a five.

After the epidural took effect, your dad decided to go down and get his lunch out of the car since he didn't have breakfast. Just a couple of minutes after he left the room, while I was on the phone with Sena, I felt something completely change in my body. It had only been fifteen minutes since your dad and the doctor had left the room, but I told Sena that I would call her back, and I paged the nurse. When the nurse came in, I told her that I knew something felt different, but that I didn't know what, since I really couldn't feel much. She checked me and asked me where your dad went, because I was dilated to ten and ready to push. From 5-10 in 15 minutes! 

They took me from the 'labor room' that I was in and rolled me into a 'delivery room', and the whole time I was asking them to please find my husband. It turns out that when he went down the elevator to get his lunch, the doctor was on the same elevator headed to a c-section.
But your dad got there in time, while the nurses were begging me not to push because the doctor wasn't there yet. And while all this is going on, they ask if it's okay to have a group of med students watch my birth? I really didn't care, because how else are they going to learn? So about 5 med students then crammed in the room. 

But where, oh where is the doctor? I really am feeling the pressure and desperately want (need!) to push at this point. Then I hear the nurse on the phone with the doctor, 'if you don't get down here, I'M delivering this baby!'  He got there in the nick of time to catch you after only three pushes. 

Our little 7 pound 4 ounce bundle of joy. I'll never forget the feelings that overwhelmed me when they laid you on my stomach. There are no words to describe the love and joy and happiness I felt to finally meet you! I turned my tear-filled eyes up at your dad, and his face was streaked with tears also. As I looked up around the room at all those med students, it made me laugh... they were crying too. 

As I started to rub my fingers over your head, I realized that your hair was blonde. That was one of the first things I said to your dad, 'he's blonde!?!?' and your dad's response was, 'no, that's just that lotion stuff'. But lo and behold, after your dad went with them to get you all cleaned up, he rolled you in and proudly announced to me, 'he's blonde!' We just couldn't believe that WE got a perfect little blue-eyed and blonde little baby boy.

Chris, you bring me so much joy every single day of my life. I'm so very proud of the young man you are today and the man you are becoming... you amaze me! I'm floored that you're sixteen already... and that we will be going to get your driver's license soon! Thank you for being such a wonderful son and brother - we all love you so very much!

I Love That Man O' Mine!

Mike is amazing! I'm not sure if you remember when he surprised me with this last summer? Well, he did it again. He completely surprised me. When I came home from Texas, I walked in to find 2 beautiful new end tables in my living room. He worked on them every day after work and all weekend long. The reason? He said it was because he knew how sad I was and didn't know what to say or do. He really wanted me to come home and see something that would make me happy. Something that would bring comfort into our home and be a reminder of how much I am loved.


I love the detail he put into these tables... the pictures just don't do them justice.

As if that wasn't surprise enough... besides working full time, building me furniture, and taking care of the kids... he also took over sole responsibility of taking care of our pet, which was a little worrisome to me because ever since we got him, he's been MINE. But I came home to, 'Hey, little buddy... are you hungry?' and 'See, he loves me. Do you see how he follows me around and gets all excited when I come over to him?' and 'I know it says to only feed him 2-3, but I feed him 4. Cause he likes it.' Yep, another big surprise was that Mike totally bonded with this little guy:

I think I'll wait a couple of weeks and completely have a melt-down... maybe I'll get a new table or an entertainment center out of it? (wink)

Please Share Your Love with My Newbie

When the new semester started at school, the kids had a few of their classes change, which is always good to mix things up a little and make the school year not seem so long. So a couple of days afterwards, Chris comes in to me and begins the following conversation:

Chris: 'Mom, you're not going to believe what I did at school today!'

Me: 'Well, no one called me, so it can't be THAT bad.'

Chris: 'Oh, you're hilarious. No, seriously... YOU, of all people, will be so proud of what I did today!'

Me: 'What?'

Chris: 'You're gu. na. love. it.....'

Me: 'TELL ME already!'

Chris (nonchalantly): 'I started a blog.'

Me, in a squeal of delight: 'Reeeeally?! OH! What's the address? I'm so gonna FOLLOW you!'

He was actually quite excited to show me what he's accomplished, and I am so thrilled that he wanted to share it with me... especially because it took months for him to finally accept me as his friend on Facebook (and that was after denying me once)! I couldn't stop laughing when he told me his blog address, and laughed even harder at the picture in his header. So, please, go over and warmly welcome him into this blogging world... he won't know what to do with COMMENTS! Go to 'BLOG?' at:

www.theverybestbloghahabetterthanyours.blogspot.com

How I'm Feeling...

Nope, I didn't fall off the face of the earth, even though sometimes I feel like I did. It's been almost two weeks and it seems like I've experienced two years' worth of emotions. Although this is really putting myself out there, here are some of the things I'm feeling lately.

Mostly I feel overwhelmed by the extremes of my emotions, and sometimes confused with how quickly they change. I feel sad - a lot - since Jon died. It's been hard for me to go on with day to day activities as if he were still here. At times, I feel angry that life just keeps going and that the world didn't stop like I thought that it should. I feel guilty each time I experience something good that I know Jon would enjoy. I feel compassion when I think of his friends. I feel worry every time I think of my mom and family. I feel frustrated with Jon... for not understanding how precious he is to all of us, and how small his worries were in the grand scheme of things.  I feel sorry that I didn't know what he was going through, and regret for not keeping in better contact with him. I feel exhausted, because I can't sleep and have buried myself in work. I feel fake when I'm asked how I am doing, and I smile and say 'I'm fine'... and yet I feel serenity in knowing that each day is a little better.

I feel happy in the knowledge I have of the goodness of God and I feel blessed to be His daughter. I feel excited when I think of all of the learning Jon must be doing, because he so loves to learn! I feel peace when I  pray and content in the answers given to me. I feel my troubled heart become calm as I think of His eternal plan. I also feel strengthened by my family and friends... by your kind words, notes, emails, and flowers. I feel grateful that I am so loved. I feel pure love and comfort as I am surrounded by my husband and children.

I feel honored to have been Jon's sister and respect for the man he became, and I feel joy that I will see him again one day.

Time stopped today...

Just shortly after we got home from church today, I got the news that my baby brother, only 23 years old, passed away unexpectedly. I can't stop crying and my heart is aching... to give him one more hug, to sit and have one more good long talk, to tell him one more time how much I adore him, respect him, and especially love him.
I love you, Jon... and will miss you greatly, my sweet and tender big little brother.

The Big Island of Hawaii

Sorry I've been so slow to post... there just aren't enough hours in a day! Here were some of our Big Island highlights:

*The night we got on the island, we saw the first of many incredible sunsets on this island. We also got to explore the Waikoloa Beach resort we stayed at, which was awesome! They had their very own dolphins that we could watch anytime; a beach and snorkeling area with all kinds of fish, turtles, and more; amazing views of the ocean, and whale watching just by standing there (although I didn't get to see one, I kept hearing other people talk about seeing them - my luck again); there were swimming pool areas on each end of the resort that were amazing - several levels with hot tubs and waterfalls, and even a water slide; each night they had a traditional tiki lighting with a cute Hawai'ian guy running from one end to the other lighting the torches, stopping to blow his horn at certain spots.





*Going to a very small ward in a tiny church building. After sacrament meeting was over, the bishop called up all of the visitors by the podium. Once we were all up there, the entire congregation sang a traditional song to us, Aloha `Oe... in Hawaiian (the way they sang it) the chorus is this:
Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo
One fond embrace,
A ho`i a`e au
Until we meet again

It translates into this:
Farewell to you, farewell to you
The charming one who dwells in the shaded bowers
One fond embrace,
'Ere I depart
Until we meet again

After they finished the song, a sister in the ward went through the line of visitors and placed a knit lei around the neck of the men, and a brother in the ward placed one around the neck of the ladies... each with the traditonal kisses on the cheeks. It was such an amazing moment for all of us, and many of us agreed that it was one of the most memorable moments of the entire trip. Even more amazing is that each of the leis were knit by hand by a sister in the ward - and I wish that I could thank her face-to-face because this was the size of our group:



*Driving along and talking about how beautiful it was, rounding a corner and all of a sudden everyone inhaled deeply because this took our breath away:



So we went on a hike down these cliffs:





Along the way, the scene kept changing right before our eyes, and we even found coral on the path along the way:







And found ourselves barefoot on a beautiful BLACK sand beach:







*Another day we went to a white sand beach, Hapuna Beach, which is currently the #2 beach in the United States. We body surfed, built sand castles and a 'sand-man', completely rolled in the sand, and got to see someone else's creation brought down from the top of Mauna Kea... which reminded us so much of the cold and snow we had left at home, and somehow managed to make us enjoy our moment that much more:








*We went to Honaunau Place of Refuge, which is a wonderful area of water with beautiful coral reef right off the edge of lava rock - some of us to scuba dive, some of us to snorkel, and I stayed up with the littlest of us who was afraid to put on her gear and go into the choppy water... so she and I explored all of the sea life in the tidepools, which turned out to be oh, so fun!:








*And then the bravest of us went cliff-jumping just shortly before sunset. It was a BIG cliff! I was so glad that I was the one that HAD to take pictures! Well, more like volunteered:











*And because we didn't get enough of Hapuna Beach the first time:









*We also went to the top of Mauna Kea, where the world's largest observatory is located. Mauna Kea ("White Mountain") is a dormant volcano on the island of Hawaii. The highest point in the Pacific Basin, and the highest island-mountain in the world, Mauna Kea rises 32,000 ft from the ocean floor to an altitude of 13,796 ft above sea level, which places its summit above 40 percent of the Earth's atmosphere. The stars were amazing, and it was a cloudy night. I can only imagine what they look like on a clear night. Sorry, I didn't get pics of any of that. We also went on a tour of lots of other places on the island. Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of this place:











*But I will NEVER forget our hike of Akaka Falls:

















*Driving over the highway that has been covered with lava flow from the Kilauea Volcano since about 1983, then hiking through all that lava and seeing life that is now springing up through the cracks... and the steam of the still-active areas of the volcano from where we were. It was also interesting to me to see the many homesteaders that are living right there on that lava:

*Afterwards, we went to another black sand beach area, and it was so awesome to walk on that lava, then walk to a shore line, where the water has crashed in on it so much, that it has crumbled it into large chunks, then to small rocks, and then into black sand. The locals have planted coconut trees in crevices all over, to help bring back their beautiful green landscape. And of course, we had to make a black sand castle. We had yummy locally made ice cream, too - I can't leave that out, even though there's no pic:

Next up... our adventures on Maui... not to worry, that post won't be as long as most of our trip was on the big island of Hawaii. Besides, I got tired of carrying my camera around, and was very much into the relaxation once we got to Maui... but the ones I got are GOOD... just you wait!

Thanks for suffering through such a long post!